What if the Bridgertons Made New Years Resolutions?
Let's imagine…
The time for New Years Resolutions are upon us – so what might the characters in Netflix 's Bridgerton be planning for themselves as they head into Season Three?
Anthony Bridgerton
- Stop laying out my pocketwatch by the bedside before sex. Apparently it's 'weird'.
- Find a husband for Eloise. Perhaps an older gentleman? With a library? One who is hard of hearing would be ideal. Who lives outside of London, where there are fewer people for her to offend.
- Show Kate several more ways that a lady can be seduced.
Viscountess Kathani Bridgerton (née Sharma)
- Consult with an architect. Find out if it's possible to soundproof the gazebo.
Colin Bridgerton
- Talk to more people about Greece. Everyone loves it when I do that.
- Maybe grow that little beard back? It was definitely dashing.
- Find 'my purpose'. Maybe talk to Penelope about it.
- Wait… where is Penelope, anyway?
- Oh well, she's around here somewhere. Good old Penelope.
Eloise Bridgerton
- Cease speaking to Penelope, but in a calm and mature way so that she understands that I am the reasonable one, and she is SO IMMATURE!!
- THROW EGGS AT PENELOPE'S WINDOW!!
- Lay flowers at Mary Wollstonecraft's grave, and continue her good work. Ooh, perhaps start a pamphlet?! Is there a way to further the cause of women that will also give me the means for independence?!?!
- Surely there are better dress options? Perhaps something more practical for sneaking off?! Why can't women wear TROUSERS?!?! Maybe I can start wearing trousers!?!?!
- Find a way to take myself completely off the marriage mart, so I can focus on my studies and my work like a woman of purpose and not a ruffled-covered FRIPPERY!!
- Write more. Perhaps find a pen pal?!
Francesca Bridgerton
- Be more present. Sometimes I feel like I barely exist in this family.
Violet Bridgerton
- Tend to 'the garden'.
- Find an excellent 'gardener'. He should be discreet. He should be tall. He should be gentle with my petals but firm with his – er – stem.
Benedict Bridgerton:
- Stop putting pens, etc. in my mouth.
- On the other hand, continue to put mysterious powders in my mouth. Very good.
- Stop painting. That will show them! That will show them all!
- Go to more Art Orgies. But perhaps learn about these 'condoms' the French are so fond of?
Gregory Bridgerton
- Make people take me seriously. I'm practically a MAN now.
- Get a toy train.
Bonus Round: Non-Bridgertons!
Penelope Featherington
- Find out which institution is responsible for the manufacture of yellow fabrics. Pay someone to blow it up.
- Stop thinking about Men, and one Man in particular. All I need is me.
- …And maybe Eloise.
- Make up with Eloise.
- Find a discreet banker and begin investing my funds. The floorboards have a simply TERRIBLE rate of return.
Lady Featherington
- I shall fall in love with myself, and not gentlemen of dubious honesty. Also, buy shinier clothes. Is there such a thing as a fabric that is also a mirror?
- New clothes for Penelope too… no matter how brightly I dress her, she is still a wallflower. Perhaps the problem is that she needs an even brighter yellow? Or perhaps she needs a hobby. What DOES she do in her room all day?
Lady Danbury
- No resolutions for me, thank you. I am resolved at all times, and certainly there is nothing to be improved.
Queen Charlotte
- TALLER WIGS.
Cressida Cowper
- Be kinder to people by pointing out their flaws so that they may improve.
- Find a way to take revenge on everyone who has wronged me.
Brimsley
- Find someone new to dance with.