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You're Too Old for This: 5 Problematic 80s Films That Could Never Be Made in 2024

written by Louise Everitt
You're Too Old for This: 5 Problematic 80s Films That Could Never Be Made in 2024
Image credit: Twentieth Century Fox, Legion-Media

It's okay to love movies that have aged poorly – nostalgia is a powerful thing.

However, without that nostalgia factor some movies are basically impossible to enjoy if you're watching them for the first time in 2024. Here are five of the worst offenders.

  1. Soul Man (1986)

You're Too Old for This: 5 Problematic 80s Films That Could Never Be Made in 2024 - image 1

Mark is a white teen from an affluent family. He manages to get accepted into Harvard, but his parents tell him that he'll have to pay his own way.

When he's denied a loan, Mark learns about a full-ride scholarship that is meant for Black students. He applies, overdoses on tanning pills, and pretends to be Black when he wins the scholarship.

The obvious issue here is the blackface (and if you don't know why that's more of an issue than, say, the whiteface in White Chicks, then do some googling). But it's really just the tip of the iceberg. Mark wins the scholarship with ease, implying that there is no Black student out there who can match his incredible mediocrity. Worse, he falls in love with Sarah, the runner-up for the scholarship, who now has to balance school work, a waitressing job, and being a single mom.

Instead of giving up the scholarship so it will go to Sarah (who needs it way more and didn't cheat to get it), Mark continues lying to her until his identity is revealed. It's supposed to be funny – and maybe it still is if your Nostalgia Glasses have a strong enough prescription – but to new viewers Soul Man can't seem anything other than 'yikes'.

  1. Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

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It's nerds versus jocks! Of course we cheer for the nerds, who get up hilarious hijinks! For instance, they plant cameras in a sorority so they can film the girls in the shower! Hahaha!

Then they use their hidden cameras to get nudes of the star quarterback's girlfriend, and give them away to the whole campus! Hahahaha!

Then one of the nerds tricks the girlfriend into thinking he's the quarterback, so he can have sex with her under false pretenses! It's a hilarious action legally known as 'rape'!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Vomit*

  1. Sixteen Candles (1984)

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The nostalgia is strong with this Molly Ringwald rom-com, and if you grew up with the movie you almost certainly have a soft spot for it. But new viewers will have a hard time getting around some of aspects of the film, like:

  • Ted and his friends continually harassing women and stealing their underwear
  • Jake Ryan (our hero!) 'giving' his black-out drunk girlfriend to a geek so that said geek can have sex with her while she's unconscious.
  • Long Duk Dong, aka every horrendous stereotype about Asians all crammed into one unbearable character.

  1. Overboard (1987)

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Here's my dark secret: I kind of still love Overboard. I first saw it when I was a preteen, and it all made sense to me – the rich, mean lady (Goldie Hawn) was a horrible snob, and she was rude to Kurt Russell! She obviously deserves what's coming to her.

What's coming to her is that she falls off her yacht and gets amnesia, so her former carpenter (Russell) decides to trick her into believing they are married. He brings her home and gets free housekeeping until he decides she's paid off the debt she owes him for his last job. Of course, they fall in love and she eventually decides that cleaning up all day after a slob and his four out-of-control sons is much better than being an independent millionaire with great shoes.

If you watch this now, without the benefit of nostalgia, you'll recognize that the whole setup is a nightmare scenario of manipulation and mental torture. Good thing Kurt Russell looks great without a shirt on. Can you imagine if he was unattractive? This would literally be a horror movie.

  1. The Toy (1982)

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A mega-rich department store owner promises his son any toy he wants from the store. The kid chooses… the janitor, Jack.

The kid is white and is called 'Master'. Jack is a Black man who is forced to do whatever 'his Master' wants, since he has lost his job and has a family to look after. It's so, so cringe.

There's some family drama that is supposed to be heartwarming, like Jack teaching the kid to love and respect his father. Even though the father is the worst person of all time. He's tight with the KKK. He sets people up for blackmail. He tries to mentally break his son by buying off his son's only true friend.

I mean… WHAT? There is no pair of nostalgia glasses thick enough for this one.