AI Imagines Harry Potter Directed by Guy Ritchie, and Snape Has a Glowup
Midjourney has Ritchie-d up J.K. Rowling’s magical saga, and it is glorious.
YouTube user Yellow Medusa has reimagined the Chosen One’s story as a Guy Ritchie film via Midjourney, and the end result is everything you could hope for and more.
The movie begins with the adult Harry Potter telling the true version of his story. Spoiler alert: it contains a lot of profanity and a killer soundtrack (Can’t Win Me Over by Pip Mondy). Oh, and everyone is covered in tattoos.
Harry has a young Jean Reno look to him, and we just love it. He immediately tells the viewers about Voldemort, “the biggest criminal wizard in Britain” who killed Harry’s parents. Mind you, the Dark Lord does have a nose in Ritchie’s version, but he is way more terrifying than in the original movies.
Harry then says how he was raised by his “abusive aunt and uncle” (finally, it’s verbalized!) who also have a son (and Dudley looks middle-aged by this point). One day, Hagrid, who looks like a badass biker dude, arrives at Privet Drive and explains that the Dursleys shouldn’t have treated Harry so badly, i.e., shoots them, apparently.
Harry receives his letter and goes to Hogwarts, which he accurately describes as “a whole damn jungle” where you have to “keep your eyes open.”
This is where we get glimpses of Dumbledore (not as badass as Hagrid, but still looking pretty cool), Filch with Mrs. Norris, and Snape (who is one of the “lads” to watch out for).
Snape is played by Christian Bale, but he gives off gorgeous Sirius Black vibes instead. The real Snape would be spinning in his grave if he saw this. Then we finally see Malfoy and Co. – one of the sidekicks actually resembles a young Walter White from Breaking Bad.
Harry goes on to note that there are some people who just want to sell you something, and it’s better to stay away from them. You’ll never guess who that is! For some reason, it is Fred and George Weasley (and one of them looks like Jay-Z ), who aren’t as nice in this adaptation.
In Ritchie’s Harry Potter, the House Elves are neither the good guys nor the victims. They are “beggars,” whose loyalties shift, depending on who is paying them. Dobby has an awesome outfit, though!
In any reality, Harry is still teaming up with Ron and Hermione to take down Voldemort. At least something doesn’t change.